Get to know: Cherie Burbach, author of "Internet Dating Is Not Like Ordering a Pizza" (part 1)

We at The Love Knot had the chance to interview Ms. Cherie Burbach, the author of Internet Dating Is Not Like Ordering a Pizza. Ms. Burbach is a relationship and dating expert who has written three poetry books - A New Dish, The Difference Now, Father's Eyes. She also wrote At the Coffee Shop dealing with internet dating. You can find her online via her website The Difference Now and at Suite 101.

On to the interview...

First of all, how did you come up with your book "Internet Dating is Not Like Ordering a Pizza"? Who thought of the title?
Over the last several years a lot of people have written me about their frustrations with online dating. My heart goes out to them, because I know it doesn't have to be that way. I wanted to write this book so they can put their best possible impression out there for the online dating world. There's more to it than just putting up a random paragraph or two and a photo.

As far as the title, I was talking with my husband one day about how many daters have the impression that you can just punch in your desires (blue eyes, brown hair, college degree) and "order up" your perfect mate. From that point the subject fell to various things we could order. I joked that people can't order a mate like they do a pizza, and my husband said that would be a great title for the book I was writing. (I think he's right. And besides that, who doesn't like pizza?)

You wrote the book based on your experiences. What led you to try internet dating?
I was in my mid-30s and just hadn't met the right person yet. Several of my friends suggested I try online dating. At first, I was VERY reluctant. But then I thought, "Why not?" I quickly realized that Internet dating was a great way to meet people, especially if you were busy. I was working a lot of hours at the time, and liked the fact that I could log on whenever it suited me and schedule dates when it was convenient.

If "internet dating is not like ordering pizza", what's internet dating really like?
It's like being set up by a friend. Your friends set you up with people because they know you and think they can find a match that's suited especially to you. Internet dating is like that, but only if you put up the right kind of profile that will show the online world your true personality. The Internet is essentially a means of introduction just like your friends are.

How hard is it to date online? What are the biggest challenges in internet dating?
I think it's easy to date online. The hard part comes in finding the right person for you. I think the biggest challenge with online dating is putting a profile up that accurately depicts your personality so you can attract the right person. Many daters get frustrated because "the wrong" type of people might be emailing them, and part of the reason that happens is because they don't have the right profile up.

The other challenge is knowing when to spend time getting to know someone and when to move on and meet someone else. That's a challenge with dating in general.


More on our interview with Cherie tomorrow! Don't forget to check out her book Internet Dating Is Not Like Ordering a Pizza!